O U Haz ?
Let Our Purrector of Innovation and Chief Quality Assurance Supurrvisor Lilo
Answer Doze Right Meow So Uz Feel Bettah and Catlax
Q: I can haz fyowerz? 😻💐😻
A: Yes!
Q: I can haz 💐fyowerz💐right meow?🛫
A: Purrhaps. Iz bestest not to wait until last cat minute.
Brooke is lazy hooman. Might nyot hear meow box, could be in hallway, might be sneps. Tuff 2 tell.
Also she slllloooooowwwww. Takes all day hunting. Will nyot answer mobile meow box while huntz.
Mebbe U uz tumbs help paint stashionary meow box.
Iz bestest to use cute purr, big greem eyes, n make shore she know WAAAAAAAAY soonest.
Iz just cat science.
Q: I can haz fancy 🌸🌺🌹fyowerz?🌹🌺🌸
A: U can has purrfect 💐fyowerz💐if u haz pyenty $💸$💸.
Sometimes purrfect fancy 💐fyowerz💐 not dere in hallway, even if haz pyenty $💸$💸 coz raisins. U haz sad den.
Q: I can haz fyowerz for all littermates, hooman staff, treat bearers, entourage, bidnass cats, et catera?
A: Yes! Can haz if u haz $💸$💸. Must give Brooke many 🌅 of time for big dealz, dough.
Q: Do u nom nom nom da 💐fyowerz?💐
A: NYO! I iz big time QA cat. If no like💐fyowerz💐, will knock off teeny desk.
Noming is for dawgz. Dis ? is an affront to mah kitty dignitay.
Q: How u make 💐fyowerz💐 safe in hallway?
A: Brooke has posable thums, so she do big krate. Haz hooman staff carry CAREFILLY. Iz v. fussy not break 💐fyowers💐.
Enyway, iz her job and mebbe Ava. Dey do what u say.
Q: Does U charge big cat $💸$💸$ for hallway to my cat lair?
A: Purrhaps.
U order much 💐fyowerz💐 for littermates, hooman staff, treat bearers, bidnass cats iz many kratez too big for usual. Must charge.
Iz just cat science.
Purrhaps you live very far down hallway. Takes almost whole sunset get dere and back. Must charge. I needz mah treaps.
Q: If she picks💐fyowerz💐up, can she pick U up? I can mebbe pick U up?
A: NYO! If needz cuddlez, meow at Mt. Purrnon.
Den U fall for classic 🐈 scam coz stoopid hooman.
Den U catdopt.😻
Den U iz 🐈 staff forever.
Q: Why deze 💐fyowerz💐so much better den lazy, stoopid dawg🐕 fyorists?
A: Brooke stunz only centre cut💐fyowerz💐.
She not buy horrible, terrible, no good haf ded ☠️R.I.P.☠️ U 🥀fyowerz🥀.
Iz why takes many 🌅 sometimes.
Also, she 👩🏽🎨.
Nyot pawter, but still.
Q: What if allergeez yike cat snez? Sometimes real ungood.
A: Meow at Brooke. Purrhaps she give paper 💐fyowerz💐. Mebbe fyowerz are not good.
Mebbe buy special pawtery instead.
Q: Why U does ?s in LOLCATS?
A: Hoomans 💖 🐈, 🐅, 🐆.
Dey read dis hyah, make happy. 😻😻😻
Dey not read standard basic boring FAQ. Basic gets ignore and disdain.
Also, LOLCATS my native sandpaper tung.
U can haz borrrrrring hyah.
If U need haz catsistence in English, meow at Brooke.
U can meow at Brooke anytime. Use picture meowbox at 571.225.7335. U can also emeow at brooke@bloomsofparadise.com. Iz free ask few ?s.